


I feel something brewing between us

by crabsthinkfishfly



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Bisexual Simon, LOOK simon is pining, M/M, Simon is pining, also pick up lines, and baz is a bitch, simon is the one thats gay for baz this time, tyrannus basilton grimm bitch, we know that baz would be pining in any other situation so let's assume he's pining in this one too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-22
Updated: 2019-05-22
Packaged: 2020-03-09 09:58:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18914653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crabsthinkfishfly/pseuds/crabsthinkfishfly
Summary: The coffee shop au no one asked for...Simon's life is steeped in mundanity, and he knows it. Working at Starbucks isn't exactly exciting. Then Baz comes in and insults Simon and whoop whoop I guess Simon's in love.





	I feel something brewing between us

 

  Simon didn't _particularly_  dislike his job, it was just that it required him to be sociable in a way he wasn't used to. Or proficient in. It didn't help that Starbucks was popular in a way that could only be brought about if it were mainstream. He didn't _really_  have anything against things that were mainstream, but that was beside the point.

 

H never _really_  got a break from socialising either. Not at this job anyway. Even when he would duck out to the back for a lunch break Penny or Agatha would be there. Sometimes Penny and Agatha would both be there at once, and that was never fun.

 

It wasn't that he didn't like Penny and Agatha, (Christ he needed to stop saying 'Penny and Agatha'.) It was just that he needed to recharge. And solitude was a big thing for him.

 

So really it wasn't entirely his fault. He'd been tired and stressed and all of his concentration was on trying not to burst into tears.

 

His mind was on autopilot really. It shouldn't have been that much of a surprise. Or a big deal.

"You spelt my name wrong!" A distinctively surprised 'Baz' yelped. He sounded equal parts annoyed and amused.

 

"Hm?" Simon asked, glancing up at the clock. The "busy hour" as it had been coined by, well, everyone was coming to an end, which meant he should be able to steal five minutes to duck out the back and recharge. If he was lucky that is.

 

"In case you haven’t noticed, I’m not a fucking fish!"

 

Simon took the outstretched cup Baz the customer was holding out. It said Bass, which would have been rather funny in any other circumstances. Like if he had been alone, or no one had noticed for instance.

 And he was incredibly tired, his mind must have just been running on autopilot.

 

 Baz growled a bit - yeah, growled, Simon wasn't sure exactly how that worked, but it did - and left the coffee shop.

 

 Simon sighed in relief - at least he could reflect on his misfortune alone for five minutes without Baz lurking about the coffee shop, muttering.

 

 Instead, it was Simon doing the muttering as he wandered into the back without bothering to turn the lights on.

 

 "Busy hour over?" Agatha asked.

 

 Simon jumped, "Oh." He hadn't noticed Agatha - she had been in here with the lights out, he guessed she was on her phone. "Yeah."

 

 Agatha got to her feet and sighed, "Guess I'll go check up on Penny and get out of your hair."

  


 He shrugged, and that was the end of it. He wasn't so good with conversing. He managed to mess things up every day, whether he accidentally started a spiral of lies, or he just made everyone awkward.

 

 He knew, distantly, that he didn't really. But it sure felt like it.

 

 Really, the rest of the day was uneventful. He should have enjoyed that. He usually would have, but now he just felt . . . He wasn't sure. Disappointed? Maybe that was it.

 

 He wasn't sure why.

 

 "Hey," Penny said. "Hey," She jostled his arm a bit. "Boss said you can knock off early. It's almost closing time anyway."

 

 "Oh, uh, yeah, thanks!" He replied as if he wasn't going to spend this time on tumblr and youtube.

 

And true to his word - thoughts? - he did. It was 2 am by the time he finally closed his laptop, and only because he had work the next day.

 

\---

 

 In the morning Simon was a ball of anxiety - more so than usual, that is. Mostly because he had overslept and forgot to charge his phone and- whatever.

 

 He shot a glare at his charger as he slipped out of the door, fairly sure there would be at least a few power outlets at work. He was sure he had noticed some.

 

 Work did, in fact, have power outlets, for which Simon was relieved.

 

 Baz turned up a while later (Simon knew that because when he got to work his phone was at 5% and when Baz walked in his phone was at 69%) (for which he wouldn't stop chortling) wearing some semblance of a smile. He thought.

 

 Simon made sure to pay attention to Baz this time, he just didn't think his anxiety would be able to take it if he messed up with the same guy twice in a row.

 

 "Baz," Simon grinned. "Yep, got your name right. And that is," He inspected the cup, "One black coffee."

 

 "Hey," Penny laughed. "Baz." She turned to Simon, "He orders at least three coffees a day - this is his third. He came in earlier while you were on break."

 

 "What the fuck? Should I be concerned?"

 

 Baz glared at Simon, "No, _Simone_. I can fully well take care of myself. He winced and muttered what sounded like "English language degree Jesus Christ," Before stomping off.

 

 Jesus fuck. What had Simon done wrong this time? He wondered what he had done to annoy Baz so much this time.

 

 He watched Baz for a bit - who was, incidentally, still frowning - until h left. He ended up pulling out a laptop and typing things furiously. As a matter of fact, he left just before Simon's shift was over.

 

 Which was, honestly, a bit exhausting. H felt he had to keep an eye on Baz the whole time - whether to make sure Baz didn't stab him while his back was turned or overdose on caffeine he wasn't sure.

 

 In the end, it was for nothing - the only thing to note was that Baz made weird faces when he sipped his coffee.

 

 He hoped he wouldn't see Baz tomorrow.

 

...

 

 The next morning Simon was severely disappointed. Or something.

 

 He certainly felt a thing when he saw Baz sitting there. His stomach flipped and he was pretty sure it was an uncomfortable feeling.

 

 Simon handed Baz his coffee cup in silence (the same horribly bitter black coffee that Baz had so far gotten every day without fail), and Baz pronounced his name wrong again. On purpose of course. There was nothing _really_  different.

 

 "Thanks, Simone," Baz called as he walked away to nurse his coffee.

 

 Simon looked away as pointedly as he could, paying no attention to Baz on purpose. It had been ironic of course. Mostly.

 

 He had only been trying to win Baz over, and he had done so in the cringiest, memeiest way possible. (Memest?) Really who would have blamed him to go with a fanfiction trope - write a bad pick up line on Baz's coffee cup? Simon, obviously.

 

 And that's how Baz ended up with a coffee pun pickup line outlining about hotness. It was also, incidentally, how Baz ended up spluttering uncontrollably.

 

 He turned the cup away so that he wasn't facing the writing - was it really that bad? - and took a sip of his coffee. With the same strange, almost wincing expression of course.

 

 "He waited today," Penny noted, coming up behind Simon."

 

 "Jesus fuck," Simon jumped. "He what?"

 

 "He waited to come up to the counter."

 

 "What do you mean?"

 

 "I mean that he waited until you were serving before he came up and ordered. I watched him lurking. Gave me a right scare."

 

 "Okay," Simon said slowly. He still didn't quite get what Penny was trying to tell him.

 

 "What I'm saying is that Baz does the exact same thing every day. Quietly order a black coffee (from me of course), make no eye contact, and sit in here for a few hours, doing _something_  on his computer, then leave again as soon as that's done. He's never done anything different," she said. "Except for the other day, that was an accident, which is why he was so grumpy."

 

 "But now you're saying he broke his routine on purpose. Why? To talk to me? Seems unlikely."

 

 Penny shrugged, "I'm not saying I know why."

 

 Simon shrugged back, "Oh well."

 

 Baz left shortly after, and this time he was pretty sure he was disappointed. Baz was strange - a mystery. And, in fanfic lingo, Baz was a mystery Simon wanted to solve.

 

 Don't say that, Simon, he admonished mentally. That's gross.

 

 And really, the rest of the day was a grey blur - again - after Baz left.

 

 Simon wondered if it was healthy. Probably not, he reckoned.

 

...

 

 The next day Simon wrote another pickup line because he enjoyed the last one.  (For some reason. Probably the part of him that enjoyed bad jokes. He thought he'd left that part of him behind.)

 

 Baz, of course, ordered another black coffee and pronounced Simon's name to horrific incoherency that he wasn't even sure Baz could understand.

 

 Baz made faces again and left Simon to wonder why exactly he ordered a black coffee if h hated it so. Perhaps Baz had been trying to act mature or something. It was all part of some strange routine they had made and were keeping to.

 

 Except this time Baz brought a book, and he sat with it for about an hour. If Simon was correct, Baz was trying to finish it.

 

 Of course, during this time they kept glancing at each other.

 

 When baz left, he left his book on his table - how does someone forget the very thing they had been concentrating on for the past hour? - and gave Simon a cheery wave on his way out.

 

 Was Baz sick? Simon wondered as he dutifully took Baz's book around to the back to store until he could give it back to Baz the next day.

 

 "That's cute," Penny noted, appearing from whatever shadow world she had come from. Really she had just been creepy and hanging out in the corner where Simon couldn't see her.

 

 "Who? Baz? I suppose."

 

 "You," She laughed. "You're totally whipped."

 

 "Am not," Simon argued. "Fight me."

 

 "1v1 me irl or on Mariocart, I can take you down either way."

 

 "It was one time. You blue shelled me," Simon whined.

 

 "Yeah, but you're whipped. You've never done that before. You leave peoples' stuff for other people to deal with or you put it in the lost property box - which _I_ have to clean up by the way."

 

 Simon stayed up thinking about it a bit last night. Baz, that is, before he decided fuck it, and consequently fell down a Wikipedia hole that blissfully silenced his mind.

 …

 

 Simon got to work early the next morning. (Obviously not because he wanted to make sure he could give Baz his book first thing. Clearly, that’s stupid and not what he’s doing.)

 

 “You’re here early,” Penny remarked.

 

 “So are you,” Simon replied defensively.

 

 Penny laughed, “It’s cool, Simon. I’m not taking the piss.”

 

 Simon shrugged and shuffled off to the back room. The book was still sitting there, and Simon just hoped he hadn’t accidentally dogeared one of the pages. Really, trust him to do something stupid.

 

 A little note slipped out of the cover, and really, Simon hadn’t meant to read it, (he had.) but he couldn’t help it.

 

 It said (in loopy handwriting, the git) _"Simon_ _, I notice you got all your pick up lines from a master post on tumblr. What gives? By the way, I think you’re adequate. Moderately cute at best. But please._  Please  _for the love of god stop writing pick up lines. They’re not even moderately funny_ . _"_

 

 Simon was smiling for a while after that. It obviously had nothing to do with the note.

 

 The door swung open and Simon looked up to see Baz hesitating at the counter, “I might have left my book here, yesterday, do you have it?” Baz asked timidly.

 

 Simon flashed him a smile, “Yep, right here with your black coffee.” He slid over the steaming coffee cup and Baz’s book - along with Baz’s note sat on the top.

 

 Baz glanced at the note and went red. “Thanks, Simon,” He said, right before leaving. Really, not another word. No follow up for the note, just, “Thanks, Simon.”

 

 God, what a bloody git. And this was the first time Baz had actually said Simon’s proper name. Not bloody ‘Simone’ or whatever else Baz had called him.

 

 Fuck, why did that make him sad? Why on earth would Baz calling Simon _actually_  Simon make him wonder if Baz was bored of him?

 

 It didn’t help that Baz had a perpetually bored expression on his perfect fucking face. Slimy git.

 

 He shouldn’t be wondering if Baz doesn’t like him anymore - Baz never liked him in the first place - it’s just his anxiety talking.

 

 He did his best to ignore it.

 

…

 

 Even if Baz  _ hadn’t  _ decided to ignore him, Simon wouldn’t have written a pickup line. As it turned out, though, Baz completely ignored Simon and swanned up to Penelope, striking up (an out of earshot) conversation with Peggy.

 

 Either way, Simon didn’t really notice. (He  _ tried  _ not to notice.) (Hah.)

 

 Simon didn’t wonder if Baz was bored of him. He didn’t think about Baz at all.

 

 The one thing Simon  _ didn’t  _ notice was Baz sitting at a table and scribbling something on his cup. He was ignoring Baz for real at that point.

 

 “Simone,” Baz announced, dumping his bloody cup on the counter. Empty too. Apparently stupidly fit, posh, vampire-esque blokes didn’t put their own coffee cups in the bin.

 “Mate,” Simon said tiredly, “We don’t actually-”

 Baz waltzed off before Simon could even finish his sentence.

 

 Simon considered leaving it - after all, it wasn’t his job. It wasn’t worth a scolding from Penny, though.

 

 He took the cup from the counter (with a fair amount of grumbling), before writing caught his eye.

 

 It was in Baz’s pretentious pretty writing. 

 

 Simon squinted at it, it was very scribbly, which wasn’t like Baz. It didn’t say much, only one word and a load of number.

 

 Simon squinted at it again.

 

 “It’s inviting you on a date, dumbass,” Penny said, plucking the cup from Simon’s hands.

 

 “Oh,” Simon swiped the cup from Penny and pocketed it. (Something he would regret later.)

 

 Agatha leaned against the counter, “So are they gonna fuck or…?”

 

 Simon scoffed, “ _ I’m  _ going on a date, so fuck you.”

 

 Agatha smirked, “With vampire dude.” It wasn’t a question.

 

 He felt all floaty the rest of the day.

 

…

 

 “Simone,” Baz called as a greeting from the door. He strode up and planted a kiss on Simon’s nose.

 

 “Gross,” Simon laughed, rubbing at the spot.

 

 They smiled at each other awhile, because they’re dorks.

  



End file.
